ejaculate, and disperse

Everyday I remind myself not to expect anything. So I'm used to disappointments. It doesn't upset anymore. It's more like "Oh..".

Haven't been replying Myspace comments. Haih.   

I want to forget everything that happened today. Heh.

Slept and had lunch at 4.30pm. Wasn't even hungry then. Accidentally missed BM and Maths (Yes, accidentally). Was told that I'm angry because I thought people were talking about me. Damnit, how the hell do you know what I'm feeling or thinking? You're trying to blame everyone else for the lack of your sense of self. Denying the obvious truth when everyone knows it's you. Don't want to think about it. Stupida.

Credit's down to half. In a matter of days. Shitty.  

I have this mysterious-don't-know-when test I have to study for. Notes yet to be finished. And a funny feeling the teacher doesn't like me that much anymore.

I'm fine.  

Yesterday's euphoria was indeed yesterday's euphoria. 

I'd like to forget today too.

Chemistry test tomorrow. I will be needing all the luck in the world. I need reference books and some really powerful detergent.

I can't even remember little things now! 

The week started out great. What's happening? 

Turns out that the test wasn't really a test. Blah.

Anyway, I've been sleeping in class for 3 consecutive days. 5 to 10 minutes. You always want what you're not to supposed to have but you get it anyway. Heh. Well, only the bad stuff I guess.

Today wasn't so bad, lessons were somewhat lighthearted. And I think I burnt a few calories, running up and down the stairs looking for this and that. Ok I take that back..Mr. Visceral is ever present.
All hail Friday! 

The situation is always the same. I'm not entitled to make the decision. It sucks but there's no pressure.

What do you guys know about involuntary shaking? 

I'm not very focused. I need some distraction, but then I'm not very focused so what's the problem again?

Words are very clever. They'll always confuse you until you learn to stop messing with them.

It's a good thing I'm able to laugh with them again. But this time, it's a totally different agenda. It eases the hurt, in a way. It's like coating a burnt cookie with chocolate. A delicious façade.

Here I am talking about cover-ups. And here I am, talking about cookies.

I'm not girlfriend material! Shoo!

Solitude is invaluable. Loneliness is disheartening. It's never wise to mix those two up. But I'm afraid I didn't look before I leaped.

Sheesh. Melodramatic shit.

When I don't say anything, it could mean I don't like what you're talking about or I don't know anything about what you're talking about or I don't really think my answer is going to help in whatever you're talking about. So piss off.

"Right now, work is the best medicine, especially if you're dealing with a recent hurt or disappointment. Being productive helps you view the recent events and the people involved with detachment. Next step: forgiveness."

I'm always viewing recent events and the people involved with detachment. Getting sick of it. Blah.  

Sometimes life is too much of a pain in the ass. And unfortunately, other people's asses get involved too.

Liberate me. Oooh, sounds very...provocative. Sexually provocative.

Ines took on 5 without crusts. I downed 4 WITH crusts. SO I WIN. Haha. The work of the undie buddies:

Headed to KLCC for a walk. Very english walk, eh? Bullied this nice salesguy, and repented (swear!).
In the midst of the hustle and bustle of Vincci world, and I mean that literally, we remained calm and executed Operation Polka Dot.

Props to Ines for convincing me to pose in front of very rude people. The shoes couldn't fit either of us. We asked for different sizes but our feet were still too pretty for the damn wedges. Blah.

But, I had fun.

(Nope, I have no idea what's gotten into me) 

In a day, how many times can you say, "This is what I want", and actually mean it?

So, what do you want?

Don’t think about an answer…just write down the first thing that pops into your head.
(big sister forced me to do this. busuk girl is her by the way.)

1. My ex is still: up and about I think

2. I am listening to: "jom la eat ice cream!"

3. Maybe I should: stop thinking.

4. I love: metaphors.

6. I don’t understand: the ticker tape measuring thing...

7. I lost: my sense of humour.

8. People say: I'm cocky.

9. The meaning of my screen name is: what screen name..

10. Love is: unattainable.

11. Somewhere, someone is: thinking about you.

12. I will always: wait.

13. Forever seems: impossible.

14. I never ever want to: be alive but not live.. (too late I guess)

15. My cell phone is: there!

16. When I wake up in the morning: I hit the snooze button first.

17. I get annoyed if: people try to be friendly when it's obvious I'm not interested. (also when people ask stupid questions!!)

18. Parties are: not only for dancing.

19. My pet(s) is(are): dead.

20. Kisses are the best when: there's emotional connection.

21. Today I: (busuk girl!) got distracted, a lot.

22. Tomorrow: I'll be distracted again..

23. I really want: be with yoooouuuuu.....

Is it really necessary to bug me with useless questions when you already know the answers?

You are not my favourite person so please shut up.

I'm lagging behind. I cannot remember anything about mitochondria (not that I knew what it was anyway). So far there are only 2 teachers who seem to understand. Tons of homework and guess what, the March test is next week and I'm not even confident about failing which is a bad thing. I might fail to fail.

Ok, blabbering but I'm stressed so go poke your nose in someone else's business.  

Wish me luck.

Wish me luck again.

I'm very sleepy but I need to study because I have to sit for the March test on Monday. MARCH test, I know.

But there's a leak. Ehehehe.   

I hate being bombarded with questions earlyyyyy in the morning.

A lot of people will question what I'm doing. Some of you might even call me a hypocrite. But I've learnt that when circumstances change it doesn't necessarily have to be bad. Even if the transition period sucked.

Haih. Time to reply my messages.