Yesterday we talked about love.
My homework -- have I ever experienced unconditional love?
Should be easy eh?
I don't care if he has a bloody Blackberry or something that looks like it. I still think he's a dimwit.
Flashing it about like that, hoping I'd notice and say something. Seriously?
I sent the wrong text message to the wrong person. Sometimes I hate technology. Sometimes I hate myself. Bleh.
Some explaining on Monday.
I don't want to stop saying things that shouldn't be said. Someone has to do it. Should the aches pass, the rest will be the usual again. Or not. But what aches!
Some are similar nevertheless.
This odd penchant for disavowal. Neither lies nor rebellion. I can look at nature but natures change. Time, too. So what gives?
The only thing more tragic than committing to something half-heartedly is failing something you put your whole heart into.
I was quite agitated at the end of it all. Some misconstrued gestures.
And now I wait.
I thought I saw a golden field but I dismissed the possibility.
I lent my glue to a classmate who apparently needs a handbook on how to screw a cap tightly. And I found out only when I wanted to finish my homework. Hours after I arrived home, of course.
After a while, even slippers give you blisters. After a while, the ones who swore to turn their faces start to sound the same.
After a while, even the special ones become ordinary. Go define that while.
Hours of familiar tunes from the remote past passing dreams of obscure obscenities that seemed ideally nonconforming in a tension-filled, sepia-toned room.
What was funny/amazing/baffling is that it was really sepia-toned. It was near perfect, even the anxiety agreed.
I have this sudden urge to watch X-Men 2 but I have to wait till after the 7pm news. So until then, I won't be doing my homework.
Why? Because I like the idea of a controllable distraction.
I almost wrote a sonnet, but it was short of 7 lines.
I almost wrote a sonnet.
"No point crying of failure. Cry all you want of the pain before."
Fine, I paraphrased but nevertheless it bears the same meaning
What cup? What spoons? That was funny. 
I miss you now.
That wasn't forced and it felt good. But it wasn't right.
21 subjects and 21 golds.
Quite impressive and slightly depressing, yes, but I have other things to do. Not necessarily better things, but still.
I don't mean to be condescending. But paysion's?
The poor girl meant patience. Yes, paysion's.
Reflection of the need for an emotional resolution.
I just smiled.
I hate it when desperate attempts to change circumstances fail and circumstances that need re-evaluation do not receive any.
Is it just me?
Let's break it. Let's go against it.
I'm just mustering the courage. I'll never really say that to you no matter how much I want to.
Sufficient resources to keep you occupied until you die.
Blurry vision and racing thoughts. Wild desires. How profane.
How the heart cried and how the eyes bled.
One impossible word. Sentences strung together to convey something senses know it shouldn't be conveyed.
For morality's sake. For the sake of our feelings. Yours. Mine. They don't mean anything. Unless you want them to.
I'm actually pretty good at driving people away. Whether I intend to or not.
That wasn't humbling at all. It just made me feel stupid.
I'm trying to work things out.
The eyebags. The leftover feelings. The unresolved problems. The jaw pain too.
When I can't promise myself anything. That is the worst.
Self-destruction begins with self-interest. Personal progress is negated with the absence of interest. It never adds up.
The ability to see something from someone else's perspective is invaluable. But the values are often lost when searched too often and too hard.
