His overpowering, awkward masculine scent would throw me off the tracks occasionally. It meant that now manhood was his forte, his strength and that I have found my Achilles' heel.
I wondered if they knew, they were battling each other. On one side of the ring, was a familiar, but not always trusted, figure. On the other, a novel symbol of sheer, elusive hope.
There are things that I could say, but I hold my tongue because you would not bring yourself to believe the atrocity of my thoughts or the extent of my audacity.
The extent of my atrocity. I am not shaken.
It is unfair. To claim something you have no right over. I will mull this over until I forget the solution. And have to start all over again.
The bad, bad feelings you're feeling tonight? They will become clearer, and more painful tomorrow morning.
I am an idea without an execution. Perfecting the deviant path extraordinarily with ordinary skills.
You must figure it out.
The sickening, painful truth is, in your opinion, I cannot play a role right.
That was neither a reminder nor a warning. It's an order, and it's worse.
The only thing I cannot do is make a promise that everything is going to be fine. I will never tell you that. I can never assure you and reassure you that your temporary feelings will not last as long as you had expected. You are alone, I am alone. We are sitting side by side, but we are alone. Why? Because the decision is in your hands. I swear I have no ill feelings or wishes towards you, love. But the decision is in your hands. Think of that and think of me. When you can finally join those thoughts together, give me a ring.
Girl #1: I always come here to see something new. Do you want to take some to give to your classmates?
Girl #2: No..they'll go like, aaa and errr and aaa...
(some muffled words in between)
#2: And they'll be like aaa.. errr.. aaaa..
I think Girl #1 feels that she needs to justify her visit to the box office each time she drops by, and doing that loudly enough for me to hear makes her feel all the better, for reasons I do not wish to comprehend. Girl #2 either has classmates that do not appreciate theatrical arts, or she's profoundly interested in it, or perhaps both.
This shall be the first and last trivial entry about work, reason being is that I am very sorely bored in the office.
There you go. You have an opinion about everything.
That's fine, really, I don't mind. But it annoys me to the point that I always turn around when I see your face. It irritates me when you dispense your thoughts whenever you deem necessary, especially when it's of no significant matter. Especially when I don't care what you think about anything.
The weight of events that have passed and yet to occur fastens itself on my shoulders and settles in the empty rooms in my head. All the noise I force onto myself is futile. Don't they know that eveything will be revealed?
They will resent and they will keep it inside.
How else and where else can I keep it. I have no booths for emotional disclosure.
They have the negatives but we don't.
Take your crown, take your trophies and medals. Take it.
Loser.
And the 21 year old fucktard speaks.
